


The Watcher on the Wall

by LadyKnightEllen



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: A Song of Ice and Fire References, AU (sort of), Angst, Backstory, Canon Disabled Character, Disability, F/M, Game of Thrones ships, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Missing Scene, POV Bran Stark, POV Meera Reed, The Night’s Watch, Three-Eyed-Raven - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-07-04 21:12:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15849447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyKnightEllen/pseuds/LadyKnightEllen
Summary: After their encounter with Benjen, Bran and Meera have made their way to the Wall. The events of their travels and trials weigh heavy on them both.





	1. Bran

**Author's Note:**

> I have a lot of feelings about Bran and Meera’s relationship and how they both were affected by what happened in the cave of the Three-Eyed-Raven. I feel like there were a lot of things missing from their story and I want to explore those things and hopefully shed some light on a few unanswered questions.
> 
> This is a GoT TV show fic and everything falls within the existing on screen canon except for one detail. I decided that I wanted Meera and Jojen to come to Winterfell right after Robb leaves like they do in the books. It gives their relationship more time to develop especially since Bran’s feelings for Meera are in the book already and I might have been imagining it, but I feel like it is hinted at in the show.

With every passing day, Bran had watched Meera grow weaker and weaker, dragging him on the sled, and somehow managing to stay on her feet. Near the end of their trek, She had been stopping to rest every few hours; she would pull the sled to some semblance of shelter under a cluster of trees, or the lee of some boulder, and then Bran would unwrap the furs that covered him and she would curl up beside him as he tucked the furs around them both. They would sleep like this until Meera woke and she would get up and doggedly continue their journey. 

They barely spoke to each other at all, Bran was certain that if he opened his mouth to speak about the things that had befallen them, he would break into a thousand pieces, and he got the sense that Meera felt the same way. She had been irrevocably changed when Jojen was killed, then she had begun to find a new normal during their time in the cave of the Three-Eyed-Raven; but everything that had happened during their escape and since then, had driven her back into her shell. Even though she had not said so, Bran knew that Meera blamed herself for Hodor's death, and he could understand how she might see it that way, but he knew the truth, he new everything. 

Just thinking about Hodor was enough to cause Bran physical pain, he kept seeing the young Hodor, a boy called Willis, writhing on the ground shouting the phrase that had spelled his doom long before it happened. 'Hold the door, hold the door, hold door, hold door, hodor, hodor, hodor' The words rang in Bran's mind sounding to him like nails in a coffin. He had lived the final moments of Hodor's physical life and his life as Willis simultaneously, and It was as if the gods had been playing a cruel trick on Willis from the moment he was born; his fate set in stone and Bran hated himself for his own part in it. 

There were, in fact, a great many things that Bran hated himself for, and there were things that weighed on him so heavy that he felt he might be crushed with the knowledge that now burdened him. He could not bring himself to speak to Meera about any of it however, some of which he knew he couldn't, but mostly he didn't know how to tell her what he wanted to say. He suspected that Meera had many things that she wanted to say to him, but it seemed that she felt much the same way as Bran himself did, for neither of them spoke more than a few terse words ever since their encounter with his Uncle Benjen. 

Meera was nearly to the point of collapse when they finally reached the wall, and Bran thanked every god in existence that they had made it to safety before her strength gave out. The brothers of the Night's Watch didn't quite know what to make of them, and neither Bran nor Meera could decide how much information they should divulge. They had been welcomed warmly enough, but they had also been questioned, If Sam had told Jon about meeting them, it was clear that no one else had been informed that the young, crippled Lord of Winterfell was wandering the lands beyond the wall. 

As soon as they had managed to satisfy the Men's queries, they were fed and given a room to stay in with promises to escort them to Winterfell as soon as possible. Once they were alone, they sat on one of the two beds in the room facing each other. Meera seemed to be waiting for him to say something, but he avoided her gaze and instead focused on positioning himself on the bed. He shifted himself back to sit against the wall and began to pull his useless legs up onto the bed. Impatiently, Meera reached out to help him.  
"Don't!" He snapped "I can do it myself."  
"I know you can." She said, ignoring his protests and helping him anyways. "But I also know that you're stalling, you have to talk to me eventually. You can't just shut me out."  
"What do you want me to say?" He could feel tears threatening to fall, as the weight of everything that had befallen them since Theon's attack on Winterfell suddenly overwhelmed him. Staring down at his hands clasped in his lap he composed himself and continued.  
"I don't even know where to begin."  
"It doesn't matter where you start, I just want to know why you look as though you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders." She reached out and took his hand, and lifted his chin to make him look at her; she gazed at him with tears in her eyes, as if her heart was breaking for him and all that had befallen them,  
“Because I am.” He said in a voice that was barely a whisper. And all at once, his inhibitions were torn away,and the tears began to fall so hard and fast down his cheeks that he thought they would never stop. 

The last time he had allowed himself to cry was when they had found Maester Luwin's broken body as they escaped Winterfell, and he had been holding back his emotions ever since. He had never seen Meera cry, even when Jojen had been brutally murdered by the wights, but as she crawled up next to him and they wrapped their arms around each other, every pent up emotion and every bottled up tear; came rushing out of them both in waves of grief and sorrow that could no longer be contained.


	2. Meera

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meera contemplates their journey so far and confronts her feelings about Bran and what's happening to him as the Three-Eyed-Raven.

The first thing Meera was aware of when she opened her eyes the next morning, was the soft rise and fall of Bran’s chest beneath her hand. His arm was draped across her as well and for a moment, she was content to remain wrapped up in his unconcious embrace. As she lay there, she recalled the first time they met. Bran was little more than a child at the time, he had seemed so much younger than herself, but it was really only a few years. She tried to think back and find the moment he had stopped being the boy she met, and had become the young man that lay beside her now. Her answer came to her in a matter of seconds.

The night they had been captured by the Night's Watch deserters, she remembered looking over at Bran and expecting to see fear in the eyes of a child, but instead she had seen indignation and determination. In that moment she’d recalled a description her father had once given her of Lord Eddard Stark as he had fought to defend his sister's honor. Though she had never met Lord Stark, she recognized the look her father had described when she glimpsed Bran’s face as the men tried to rape her. His features became as stone and his eyes were daggers made of ice, the Stark words had never held so much weight as they did in that moment. 

She turned and studied Bran’s sleeping face, searching for a trace of that little boy she’d met, or even the young man of ice and stone, but she found only pain there now. He was no longer a child, and somehow he was no longer a young man either. Even in sleep, his face held the sorrow and tribulation of centuries past, and foreboding for trials yet to come. Neither he, nor the Bloodraven, had fully explained what this role truly meant and It was difficult for her to comprehend the weight that he now bore, but she could see the toll it was already taking on him. 

Her heart ached for him and the hand he had been dealt. She realized that it was the first time she had ever felt sorry for him. This discovery came as a bit of a shock to her; never once had she looked at his broken body and thought he was just a ‘poor crippled boy’ like most people did. When she’d met him she’s seen courage, determination, and a maturity well beyond his years. He had also displayed a surprising amount of wit and sarcasm, which endeared her to him from the beginning. She admired his maturity while she was at Winterfell, and his courage and determination when he was forced out of his home by a man he had once thought of as a brother. There was precious little left of the Bran she had met and travelled with now, and she knew the change had everything to do with his transformation into the Three-Eyed-Raven. 

Ever since they left the cave, all the things that made him who he was, had been fading away. It was as if all those traits that made him Bran, all the things that had drawn Meera to him, were being forced out and ripped from his mind. She had known that Bran had a destiny far greater than anyone could imagine, but she had never thought of what that would really mean for him. No one, not even the Bloodraven had prepared her for what was happening to him. He was slipping away from her and there was nothing she could do about it.

'Some people will always need help, that doesn’t mean they aren’t worth helping'

Her own words seemed so hollow now when once they had been full of hope. She had said this to explain why Jojen wasn’t ashamed to be protected by his sister, but she had been talking about Bran too. It was a simple fact that there were many things he needed help with, but that didn't make him any less of a person. Meera would always be willing to help Bran, she knew exactly what he needed, and how to do it. But now, she was lost, he wasn't just Bran anymore, he was the Three-Eyed-Raven and she had no idea what he needed or how to help him. 

Untangling herself from Bran's body, careful not to wake him, she climbed off the bed and began to pace the room. For every question she had there seemed to be too many answers or none at all. Her swirling thoughts were on the verge of driving her mad, the chaos in her mind was creeping up on her, threatening to tear her apart. She wanted to scream and run away, and for a moment she considered it. What if she just left? The men of the Night's Watch had promised to get them to Winterfell safely, Bran didn't need her to carry him or pull him on a sled anymore, her oath was fulfilled, he was safe now. Even as the thought came to her, she knew that would never happen, she couldn’t just abandon him.  
‘Just admit it Meera’ A little voice in her mind taunted her ‘Just say it, tell him how you feel, you can’t just ignore your feelings forever and hope they go away’  
‘I can’t, he can’t, he’s not my Bran anymore’ She knew it wasn’t true even as she thought it.

‘My Bran...Do I really think of him that way?’ Turning, she looked at his sleeping form and knew it as true. One moment she was unsure and conflicted and the next she was absolutely certain.

“I love you Brandon Stark” The words escaped her before she could stop them and she didn’t even want to. In the next heartbeat, she was sitting down on the bed and taking his hand in hers.  
“I don’t know if you’re even still in there anywhere or if the Three-Eyed-Raven chased you off, but I love you and I want you to come back to me. I can feel you slipping away, but please stay. Let me help you, let me in, please don’t shut me out.” There were tears in her eyes now, and she knew there was no stopping them.


	3. Bran

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bran is trying to make sense of the turmoil in his mind now that he has taken up the mantle of the Three-Eyed-Rven

Amidst the turmoil of the visions that raced through his mind, Bran tried to make sense of what was happening. He tried to understand all the scenes that flashed before him. Everything that had ever happened since the beginning of time crashed down upon him and forced its way into his mind as his body slept. People and places flashed passed, almost too fast to recognize.

...Lyanna laying in a pool of blood, pleading with her brother...

...Aegon the Conqueror and his sisters, bringing the relm to its knees…

...Jon Snow, being stabbed by the men of the Night’s Watch...

...The Mad King screaming ‘burn them all!’…

...Brandon the Builder laying the first stones of Winterfell…

...The Children of the Forest creating the first White Walker...

...Daenerys Targaryen, being born amidst a howling storm…

...Robert Baratheon, mauled by a boar…

...The First Men burning the Weirwood trees...

...Theon Greyjoy helping Sansa escape from Ramsey…

...Arya stumbling through the streets of Braavos, bleeding…

...The Army of the Dead growing larger every day…

He saw all these things and more, and Bran tried to linger on those things that concerned his family, but he felt himself pulled away and pushed back. It was if the Three-Eyed-Raven was trying to pull away from the boy called Brandon Stark, to force him down, down, down never to return or remember who he was or what he cared about.

‘I AM BRANDON STARK!’ He shouted for all the good it did him, his body was still asleep. His words only echoed in his mind and they did nothing to chase away the visions crowding him out of his own head.

‘You were, but you must be the Three-Eyed-Raven, I told you that was what you would become didn’t I?’ The man who had been the Three-Eyed-Raven stood before him in his mind’s eye, staring at him as solemnly as he ever had. 

‘I thought you were dead, the Night King killed you’  
‘You are correct, but time means nothing here, everything and everyone that has ever been or will ever be is here.’  
‘That doesn’t make any sense, this is my mind.’  
‘Your mind is not your own anymore, Bran must make way for the Three-Eyed-Raven. The boy called Brandon Stark no longer exists, and he will never exist again if you do not fulfill your destiny. You must watch and learn, you must give the living the knowledge they need to prevail against the dead, and you must defeat the Night King.’ 

…The Night King grabbing his arm and tugged, marking him with it's icy fingers…

… Craster bringing his children as a sacrifice…

… There Night's Watch growing weaker as their foe grows stronger…

… The Free Folk fleeing further and further south…

… Hardhome being overrun and its people joining the ranks of the Army of the Dead…

… Benjen Stark riding in to rescue them…

‘I don’t know how to defeat him, he’s too strong.’  
‘It will not be easy, but you must find your own strength if you ever hope to bring him down. Winter has come and The Night King is at his strongest now. I confess, I cannot give you all of the answers; I can only point you in the right direction.’  
‘What do you mean by that? Where do I go’  
‘Go to Winterfell, go to the weirwood and learn all you can. Watch and listen; look into the past and watch all that goes on around you. There is a battle coming and you must be ready for it.’  
‘But, how do I keep from going mad, there’s so much, and I can’t make sense of it, it feels like I’m going everywhere at once.’  
‘Because you are, I told you that you were not ready, but there was nothing to be done. If you had not become impatient, I could have taught you to order your thoughts, but now you must learn that on your own.’  
‘You said I wouldn’t be like you, stuck in a tree, apart from the world, but now you’re telling me to go and sit by the weirwood and watch.’  
‘What I said may still hold true, the future is not set in stone. If you succeed in your task, and you must succeed, then perhaps you can be Brandon Stark again.’ Neither of them spoke for what seemed like an eternity and then finally, the old man broke the silence.  
‘I must leave you now. Remember your lessons and heed my warnings. The battle for the living is just beginning and you must be ready.’ Without another word, he was gone and the Three-Eyed-Raven was left alone.


	4. Dolorous Edd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dolorous Edd wants some more satisfactory answers about their journey, and he gets more than he bargains for when he questions Meera

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! I originally thought this would be a much longer story, but I just didn't feel like I could/needed to draw it out any longer. I hope you enjoy the final chapter and please let me know what you think! 
> 
> Also if anyone is interested, I made a playlist for this story. Some of the songs I discovered via Bran and Meera edits on YouTube, and some of them I just liked and thought they fit their story really well (Meaning: they fit in with my hardcore shipping of them.) So, here it is if you want to listen to it.
> 
> Down--Jason Walker  
> War of Hearts--Ruelle  
> Demons--Imagine Dragons  
> Bring Me To Life--Evenescence  
> The Light Behind Your Eyes--My Chemical Romance  
> Faded--(Cover) Sara Farell  
> In the Name of Love--Martin Garrix  
> Shatter Me--Lindsay Stirling ft. Lzzy Hale  
> Say Something--A Great Big World ft. Christina Aguilera

Edd made his way up the stairs to the room where the Stark boy was staying. He wanted to send him on his way as soon as possible. When he showed up with the Reed girl, he questioned them about why they were traipsing about beyond the wall, but their answers were not very satisfactory and they only seemed to make him want to ask more questions. After pondering over their cryptic responses for half the night, he made up his mind to get a straight answer out of them come morning. 

When he reached the room, he raised his hand to knock, but stopped when he heard voices inside, after a moment, he realised that it was only one voice. The girl was speaking and from the sound of it, the boy was still asleep and Meera was talking to herself. Edd listened in astonishment as the girl poured out her feelings to Brandon Stark. Some of the things she spoke of, he didn’t fully understand, but mostly she was confessing her feelings and through it all, there was not a peep from Bran. I seemed impossible that he would still be asleep through all that, but there was not a sound from the boy. 

Too late, Edd realized that Meera wasn’t talking anymore and he tried to move away from the door when he realized that he was hearing her footsteps coming closer. He only made it a few step before the door burst open and Meera came out with surprisingly long strides for one so small. She didn’t see him until she nearly barreled into him. They both stumbled and she muttered out an apology as he grasped her shoulders to steady her. There were tears welling up in her eyes, and she tried to wipe them away as she looked up at him.  
“Lord Commander, forgive me, I didn’t see you.”  
“Quite alright lass, no harm done. And I’m only acting commande, we haven’t had a choosing yet.” It was difficult to read her expression, understanding women had never been something he was particularly good at, but he could still see tears in her eyes, and he had no idea what to make of this.  
“Miss, uh, I was wondering if I might speak with you about some things…” He trailed off trying to gauge her response, when she didn’t react at all, he ploughed ahead, “You see, there’s a lot of things I don’t quite understand and I’d like an explanation.” Meera opened her mouth as if she was about to respond, but then closed it without saying anything. The look in her eyes reminded him of a cornered animal, unsure whether to run or fight. After a few moments, she relaxed a bit and nodded almost imperceptibly. 

Neither of them spoke as Meera followed Edd down the corridor. They found an empty room and he held the door open and gestured her inside. Once the door was closed and they were both seated, Meera took a deep breath, clenched her fists in her lap, then spoke very quickly without looking at him.  
“Before I start, you have to promise that you won’t tell anyone about this. I can’t fully say why or how, but this information could be dangerous to you and anyone you tell it to.” He stared at her for a long moment before finally nodding, not sure what to say to this. Her curt nod was all he got before she took another long breath and then launched into her story. 

The tale she told was so insane and fantastic that he would have called her a liar if it weren’t for all the crazy and unbelievable things he himself had seen. She told him about her and her brother, Jojen, going to Winterfell and meeting Bran. The capture of Winterfell by Theon Greyjoy was not news to him, but up until Bran and Meera had shown up, the Stark boys were thought to be dead. Their escape from Winterfell and the journey to the wall also gave him some new insight into Jon’s time with the Wildlings as she recounted the skirmish at the watchtower. Edd’s blood boiled when he heard of the abuse they suffered at the hands of the deserters at Craster’s Keep. Finally, Meera told of their trek to find the heart tree, and of their stay in the cave of the Three-Eyed-Raven. Her voice quavered when she spoke of her brother’s brutal murder and her eyes welled up with fresh tears as she described their escape and how the man called Hodor died so they could get away. Though she did not say so out loud, he got the sense that Hodor’s sacrifice was not his own choice. Jon had spoken about Hodor a few times and he knew that the man was a half wit, and it was clear that Meera blamed herself for for his death. 

They sat in silence for a long moment when her story was done. Edd wasn’t quite sure what to say to all she’d told him and she wasn’t offering up anything else. When he found his voice, he spoke hesitantly, not sure if she would or even could answer his next question.  
“Milady, what exactly happened to Bran in that cave? I know you said he has this great destiny and that he was training, but what is the Three-Eyed-Raven and what sort of training was his giving.” She stared at him, the pain in her eyes was unmistakable.  
“Bran IS the Three-Eyed-Raven now. His destiny is greater than all of us, and he is the answer, to everything.” Her voice was hollow and with every word, she sounded more and more distant, as if she was trying to forget about Bran and detach herself from him.  
“Well, I don’t know much about any of that destiny stuff, but I hope it has something to do with defeating these damned walking corpses that we keep stumbling over.”  
“I believe it does, though I’m not sure exactly how. I just have to get the Bran to the heart tree in Winterfell, so he can learn all he can.” There was no emotion in her voice, except when she said his name. There was pain there, and he wasn’t sure how to ask her about it. 

Though he had not been able to make out what the girl had been saying to the sleeping Bran, he had a pretty good idea now what the problem was.  
“Milady, forgive me for saying so, but, do you love him?” Her head snapped up and she opened her mouth to contradict him, then her shoulders drooped and she simply nodded without saying a word. “Does he know?”  
“I’m afraid the Bran that I love no longer exists. He has been slipping away ever since he became the Three-Eyed-Raven. He’s been consumed by it and there is very little left of the boy, the man, that I knew. Whether or not he will ever come back, I don’t know, but I do know that I waited too late to realize how I felt, and now I might not ever get the chance to tell him.” Edd hadn’t been expecting such a speech, and Meera appeared to be a bit surprised at herself as well. She looked down at her hands, and when she spoke again, her voice was a whisper “I just don’t want to lose him after all that we’ve been through.” 

Edd wasn’t sure how to respond to any of this, or if he even should, but she looked so lost, so forlorn, he felt that he should say something. She didn’t say anything more, just continued to stare at her hands in her lap with eyes that looked so weary it made his heart ache to look at them.  
“Well miss, like I told you before, I don’t know much about love or destiny, but I do know about loyalty, specifically Stark loyalty. No one can know if Bran is still in there somewhere, but if he is, I know he won’t forget what you’ve done for him, and I can’t help but think that’s got to count for something. Maybe you’ll get him back, maybe you won’t, but it won’t do anyone any good for you to sit around moping about it. I can tell you’re a strong woman, and everything you’ve told me makes me think that you’re a survivor, and you do what has to be done, no matter what. So, we’ll help you get where you need to go, but we have to do our duty, and I’m afraid that you’ll have to figure the rest out on your own.” 

She looked him straight in the eyes as he spoke and slowly, she seemed to find that strength somewhere inside herself. By the time he was finished speaking, there was not trace of the pain and anguish that had been there only moments before; it was replaced by a cold and steely resolve.  
“I suppose you’re right.” She said, her voice, cold and empty again. “Thank you for your help Lord Commander.”  
“I told you, I’m not the Lord Commander yet.”  
“How soon can we leave for Winterfell?” she asked, ignoring his protests at the use of his as yet unofficial title.  
“Um, very well then, I believe the men were going to be ready as soon as they have broken their fast.” She gave another quick nod, and without another word, she stood and left the room before he could think of anything else to say. He couldn’t be certain, but he thought he saw a tear threatening to crack her icy facade. Whatever was going on between Meera Reed and Brandon Stark, it wasn’t over. Sometime soon, the dam was going to break and he was certain that whatever happened, it wasn’t going to be pleasant.


End file.
